Your Shoes

Mum, why animadvert at something that you induce caused yourself. Causing this by complimentsing me to be how your stark(a) child would be. Well, sorry to say, I am non what you hope me to be.You study been paying attention to yourself so much over the years you nurture actu anyy forgotten what I am, brushing aside every the inqui codive things I contrive done, making excuses for me.I am alright. Living how I want things to be, to do what I want, when I want. This is life, a life that does non consider you in it at all. I can be myself, with fall out be criticised.Having what I want, instead of someone making choices for me. In actual position it reminds me of the beat you brought me those awful curtains, they fair(a) symbolise to me, what you comparable, I hated them, and the colours, the stylus I tho see your wait on them thinking yes these atomic number 18 perfect for me. Yes non me, you, perfect for you. Just think to yourself that we do not take for the sa me tastes in life.You just want to have everything overtaking right. So you can make the family look good. So that whenever anybody comes round, they can gloss on how, you are the perfect family. To make battalion jealous of what you want us to have, save we have not got it. You just want the family with a hard working return with a good job and income, arrant(a) m otherwise with a good job and who keeps the house tidy and brings up the children to be well behaved and good mannered. With a child who does well at school, always polite and stays out of trouble, you would love that. You have got the father and the mother the child is a bit different, it is me and I am who I am, I do not put a happy face on just cause you want me to and I will bear me looking atings how I want to.I am feeding myself alright I have a job and people are treating me with respect where I am straight, like an adult, how people should be at my age. I tonus responsible now, like I have a meaning in l ife. I am not into prostitution, and I can not commit you even fought that I would consider that path. Guess you just do not contend me that well. I have got new friends now so I hope you are happy, what you have made me do, I have changed my modus vivendi around. I am independent now, and happy if you saw me you would be steep but I do not want to see you, you just hurt me with thinking I am a failure all the time. Thinking I can not do anything and making me feel my life was worthless?I smoked pot mum because you legion me to it, I was depressed and needed something to take my mind of things. Depressed to kip down every time I go home I have to act like somebody you want me to be. I have now turned my mind to different things now. I prefer happier things now like socialising without having to explicate drunk and making a fool out of myself. I prefer my own space, with people that like the things I do. I share a flat now with a girl a few years older than me and she is helpin g me out, and introducing me to her friends, which are all pin-up genuine people.The time father called me a slut was it, I know he may have been upset to find his daughter with condoms in her bag, but mum I had them to protect me, so I couldnt eviscerate pregnant or get diseases, a step that only people that have matured would do, calling me a slut though he does not even know hat he is talking about(predicate) I have only ever had sex with one person, not like I am pass round sleeping with anybody. The person I had sex with as well was my boyfriend of six months, we had something circumscribed but I stopped the relationship to move on in life to get away from the misery of living life with you.You just take the pain out on me because you think I am going to be like my grandmother, because that she liked me better than her own daughter. She paid more attention to me than you. You can not bear to think it but it is true and your father only paid interest into you when he rig out you had a brain. I am thinking it must have been hard for you but you do not need to take the fury out on me, making me into the person that you just wanted to be when you was in your childhood.All the parties mum is what a normal teenager does and get drunk because then they start to grow up more and work this is not the life for me and change. Its a thing that everybody does at some order in there life. Some would think that you act like a teenager jealous of everything that is better than you. I have realised all these parties arent what I want to do I am now going to do a college course and study business studies. This is because I want to do something with my life and make a hit out of it so, if we couple again you and dad can be proud of what I have done.Then if we meet that day you will see I am different to you, I have different ambitions. I like other things than having a simple life, like you. I want to be someone, and project up and be counted for I want not jus t sit back and think, things are going to be alright all the time because nothing will ever be perfect.